A Guide Understanding Marital Problems

Marriage is both commonplace and intriguing, and it is only natural that through all the ages people have observed, commented on, and interpreted the marital behavior of other persons. Many of these observations, oft repeated, become part of the collective wisdom of society.

One finds these comments in a number of places. Literary anthologies contain many case studies of marital problems or types, both in prose and poetic form. Books of familiar quotations are full of references to men, marriage, and women which are the soul of wit or the essence of insight, or both. Advice to the unwed was available before modern books which seek to prepare for marriage. There was Sir Thomas Over-bury, an early seventeenth-century English poet, who wrote:

Give me, next good, an understanding wife. By nature wise, not learned much by art.

Or there is the suggestion in the English literary classic, The Vicar of Wakefield: "I choose my wife, not for a fine glossy surface, but such qualities as would wear well." Similarly practical is the implication in a couplet by John Marriott, early nineteenth-century writer, written more than a century ago:

The conjugal fence, which forbids us to roam, Looks lovely when decked with the comforts of home.

Again, one might examine a great many contemporary books to find better advice than seventeenth-century Thomas Fuller's commendation of the woman who "commandeth her husband, in any equal matter, by constant obeying him," or his reference to the man who "knows little who will tell his wife all he knows." Equally pertinent for both marital partners is Robert Dodsley's (1703-1764) poetic prescription that

To prevent or heal full many a strife How oft, how long, must man have patience with his wife.

Perhaps contemporary Will Durant had the same thing in mind when he wrote that "the right to nag is one of the consolations of matrimony."

Even the unmarried have not hesitated to contribute their sage-like observations. Thus in recent years, H. L. Mencken, long-time bachelor, advised that the way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous, but the way to lose him is to keep him a little bit more jealous.

Collections of epigrams and proverbs are particularly rife with their accumulated insights into family problems. The risk of early marriage is a favorite topic. "Early wed, early dead," ran a very old English proverb, which came to be repeated many times in various forms.

Hasty marriages have been frowned upon for years. "Married in haste, we may repent at leisure," wrote William Congreve, in late seventeenth-century England. Shakespeare restated it in his play, King Henry VI, to say: "Hasty marriage seldom proveth well," and an old African proverb comes to the same conclusion in declaring that "quick loving a woman means quick not loving a woman."

Some of the conclusions of contemporary students of marriage were anticipated centuries ago in recorded folklore. How timeless is the statement in the Babylonian Talmud that "a man should first build a house, then plant a vineyard, and then marry."

Benjamin Franklin emphasized this in a model of brevity when he wrote: "First thrive, then wife." Or there is the old proverb, developed in a subsequent chapter in this book, which stated: "Be careful to marry a woman who lives near to you." Equally pertinent is another old-time reminder that "for any man to match above his rank is but to sell his liberty." Or there is Franklin's sage advice to "keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards."

Those wishing to marry would do well to follow the above advice!


About the Author
Revealed: Step-By-Step Secrets On What To Say And Do To Stop Any Marriage Problem

A Guide Understanding Marital Problems

Marriage is both commonplace and intriguing, and it is only natural that through all the ages people have observed, commented on, and interpreted the marital behavior of other persons. Many of these observations, oft repeated, become part of the collective wisdom of society.

One finds these comments in a number of places. Literary anthologies contain many case studies of marital problems or types, both in prose and poetic form. Books of familiar quotations are full of references to men, marriage, and women which are the soul of wit or the essence of insight, or both. Advice to the unwed was available before modern books which seek to prepare for marriage. There was Sir Thomas Over-bury, an early seventeenth-century English poet, who wrote:

Give me, next good, an understanding wife. By nature wise, not learned much by art.

Or there is the suggestion in the English literary classic, The Vicar of Wakefield: "I choose my wife, not for a fine glossy surface, but such qualities as would wear well." Similarly practical is the implication in a couplet by John Marriott, early nineteenth-century writer, written more than a century ago:

The conjugal fence, which forbids us to roam, Looks lovely when decked with the comforts of home.

Again, one might examine a great many contemporary books to find better advice than seventeenth-century Thomas Fuller's commendation of the woman who "commandeth her husband, in any equal matter, by constant obeying him," or his reference to the man who "knows little who will tell his wife all he knows." Equally pertinent for both marital partners is Robert Dodsley's (1703-1764) poetic prescription that

To prevent or heal full many a strife How oft, how long, must man have patience with his wife.

Perhaps contemporary Will Durant had the same thing in mind when he wrote that "the right to nag is one of the consolations of matrimony."

Even the unmarried have not hesitated to contribute their sage-like observations. Thus in recent years, H. L. Mencken, long-time bachelor, advised that the way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous, but the way to lose him is to keep him a little bit more jealous.

Collections of epigrams and proverbs are particularly rife with their accumulated insights into family problems. The risk of early marriage is a favorite topic. "Early wed, early dead," ran a very old English proverb, which came to be repeated many times in various forms.

Hasty marriages have been frowned upon for years. "Married in haste, we may repent at leisure," wrote William Congreve, in late seventeenth-century England. Shakespeare restated it in his play, King Henry VI, to say: "Hasty marriage seldom proveth well," and an old African proverb comes to the same conclusion in declaring that "quick loving a woman means quick not loving a woman."

Some of the conclusions of contemporary students of marriage were anticipated centuries ago in recorded folklore. How timeless is the statement in the Babylonian Talmud that "a man should first build a house, then plant a vineyard, and then marry."

Benjamin Franklin emphasized this in a model of brevity when he wrote: "First thrive, then wife." Or there is the old proverb, developed in a subsequent chapter in this book, which stated: "Be careful to marry a woman who lives near to you." Equally pertinent is another old-time reminder that "for any man to match above his rank is but to sell his liberty." Or there is Franklin's sage advice to "keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards."

Those wishing to marry would do well to follow the above advice!


About the Author
Revealed: Step-By-Step Secrets On What To Say And Do To Stop Any Marriage Problem

Demands of Love

Many years ago there was a movie titled "Love Story" starring Ali Mcgraw and I forgot the male actor, some handsome fellow. It was the rave of town then perhaps in the early 70's The famous words that came out of the movie was "Love is Never having to say sorry". Lately I came across a blog on relationships, saying "When you are making love and if he closes his eyes, then he could be thinking of somebody else" Wow! If thats how my spouse think then I dare not even bat an eye-lid! Another blog said that "don't get angry or upset when he leaves you but get even". Taking revenge sort of thing.

Here is a story of a man looking for a wife and he goes to the relevant Government Department, saying "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

The moral of the story is There is no perfect Spouse!

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that " A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech, name calling etc. Very often after sometime in a relationship, the couple forget mutual respect and courtesy which leads to a careless word here and there, hurting the feelings of the other person.

A short excerpt to illustrate this point. A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A site-worker saw her and shouted, "Hi, Jane! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home Jane's millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." Jane replied, "You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise he will be the millionaire and not you."

Such exchanges although seemingly harmless, actually plants a seed of contention which slowly erode the relationship between the couple. In speech we must remember gentleness, kindness, truth and temperate.

Another very important ingredient for a healthy relationships is 'TRUST'. When trust is broken, very often it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion then anger, which builds up enmity and eventually separation. Heard this story before?

A telephone operator said that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

In closing, I would just like to post some verses from the Bible on Love. Read it and noticed the words used to express Love rather than what Hollywood is telling our kids and us! Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude. Love isn't selfish or quick tempered. It doesn't keep a record of wrongs that others do. Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil. Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.

Love Never Fails!

"Well Good life starts ONLY when you stop looking for a Better One"


About the Author
Retiree, full-time home care-giver to my wife a stroke survivor.

Using Hypnosis To Resolve Jealousy

Jealousy is a natural human feeling brought on by simply wanting something someone else has. Though it may be perfectly natural to feel this emotion, what many people choose to do fueled by jealousy is where its harm lies. Crimes of passion are almost always jealousy driven, as well as those of theft and vandalism. There is a reason jealousy is one of the seven deadly sins that leads to the more criminal offenses than any other. If you have issues with jealousy, part of your duty as a responsible human being is to constructively deal with the jealous tendencies without doing harm to yourself or other people.

Hypnosis has been sought my many people as a way of easing feelings of jealousy. As a treatment method, hypnosis will open your mind to suggestion and allow you to explore the root causes of your jealousy. On the outside, it may be simple to see what causes the jealousy: seeing your girlfriend talking to an ex-boyfriend, or knowing that your husband is attracted to another woman. However, what hypnosis is able to uncover about your jealousy is that it is truly tied to feelings of insecurity and your own fear of loss. Only after you are able to pinpoint these factors can hypnosis truly begin to easy the jealous feelings that plague you.

Depending on the hypnotherapist that you choose, the sessions will be conducted in different ways to deal with your specific issues. For example, you will probably be instructed to picture those particular people and things that trigger your jealousy. It can be difficult at first to force yourself to confront these scenarios, but confrontation is a key ingredient to using hypnosis to resolve jealousy. The hypnosis exercises will help you associate these people and scenarios with happy emotions and trick your mind into feeling anything but jealous. The hypnotherapist may also give you exercises to do on your own that will teach you to think of happy or funny memories when you see the person or thing that turns your blood green.

Most people that seek hypnosis treatment for their jealousy can feel results even after their first session with a professional. Though it is usually recommended that a series of sessions will be the most beneficial, it does help one feel more confident that hypnosis for resolving jealousy is valid. It is also usually suggested that you meet or chat over the phone with the hypnotist for a consultation before the actual treatment begins. This will allow you to decide if the chemistry is right between the two of you. It may seem silly to think, but if you happen to meet a hypnotherapist that somehow reminds you of someone that brings out the jealousy feelings, it will be difficult to find the treatments effective.

Hypnosis is a mind science and cannot be entered into involuntarily. You must be cooperative and open to the possibility for hypnosis to help resolve your jealous emotions. As with any time you attempt to change something about your mind and character, you have to want to and make a conscious decision to beat the jealousy and allow yourself to become a more confident, centered person. You will find that treating jealousy through hypnosis will improve personal and professional relationships and lead to a future of happiness. For mor info you can visit - www.mind-works.co.uk/Hypnotherapy-for-Jealousy.html


About the Author
Terry Doherty works all over the UK working extensively with individual and business clients helping clients to stop smoking, manage weight, manage stress, become more confident and helping change many other behavioural issues. Terry uses the latest techniques of hypnosis, NLP and life coaching skills for profound change. He can be reached at http://www.mind-works.co.uk

Exclusive Swingers - Are You CHEATING On Your Swinger Friends?

Exclusive swingers? Isn't that an oxymoron?

Exclusivity is not what you typically think of when you talk about the swinger lifestyle. Few in the swinger community would consider it cheating to play with multiple couples and partners without consulting them. It's important to remember that swinging is largely about expanding an individual or a couple's sex lives, and not usually about extending the romantic circle. What about polyamory?

Some consider polyamory to be a more enlightened approach to swinging, though it's really a very different animal. With polyamory, a couple will actually expand their love and romantic relationship to truly include others, not just for the occasional fun and sexual fantasies.

For many, the idea of swinging is really a stretch... polyamory is even more so because we're no longer talking about being committed to a single person.

Can you expect an exclusive relationship with another couple?

People are interesting in their expectations, and since we're all unique, nothing is really too far fetched to be expected. Think about an exclusive relationship between two people. It slowly evolves from the casual meeting, a few dates, and eventually exclusivity where you're no longer seeing other people.

It's entirely possible for two couples to also become close over time, and for some of the players to develop closer feelings for each other. In this case it's definitely possible for one couple to get jealous when the other couple sees other people. No, it's not the regular traditional lifestyle experience, but it definitely does happen on occasion.

And when it does...

Don't talk with your family about your sex life and your exotic sexual fantasies

It's always great to share our lives with our loved ones... not just our romantic partners, but also our blood families.

BUT... this can sometimes lead to problems, especially when we're talking about parts of our lives that are not viewed as "acceptable" or "mainstream" by some segments of society.

This can happen when parents share intimate details of their sex lives with their grown children, as well as those same grown children sharing with their parents.

At first this seems to go against what we normally believe in, but stay with us here. Countless fights and arguments start when people share too much about their sex lives with their families.

We're generally very adamant on having very open and honest communication in relationships, whether those are romantic relationships, family relationship, or friend relationships.

However... we are not yet evolved and enlightened enough as a society, where your family (i.e. your parents, siblings) can have an open and honest discussion with you about your sex life and sexual preferences without judging you and without digressing into some type of fight or argument.

Hopefully our society will evolved to this point in the coming years, but by an large we're just not there yet. Certainly there are some exceptions to this (as there are to anything based on a standard deviation), but if you want to play it safe - keep your sex life between you and your partner.

SO... Should you demand and exclusive relationship with another couple?? Shat what can you do if you've shared your dilemma with your family and they're going nuts? Here's a question from a couple in Maryland facing this very frustrating problem...

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My husband and I have now experienced swinging with two different couples. The first happened slowly over a long period of time with a couple that we were very close to. The second couple we found through a swinging website. We met them a few times to get to know each other and then met them for a sexual encounter. Ever since then, things have been a mess. We shared with the first couple that we had been with the second couple. They did not handle it well at all. They felt hurt and betrayed, especially the woman, whom I am extremely close to. I thought that our friendship was in jeopardy. I ended up talking to my father about how upset I was about this problem that I was having with my friend. I ended up telling him about my swinging experiences- BIG MISTAKE! He was very upset and my stepmother, who he told, was even more upset. So, my husband and I are finding a way to rebuild our relationship with the first couple, minus the sex. I am working through things with my dad. My stepmother is still concerned that we are going to rot in hell. With all of this happening, I am really struggling with the idea of swinging again. My husband wants to, of course. I am seriously struggling with whether it is immoral and sinful. Besides, with everything that has happened, I don't have a good feeling about preceding forward. How can I make my husband understand this? He is extremely disappointed that I am not interested in continuing to swing, at least for now, and maybe forever. I know that this is long and complicated, but I am really in need of some advice. Please respond. Thanks.

-- Jennifer, Maryland

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4sZ6cOoX2w


About the Author
Visit http://www.AskDanAndJennifer.com today. Ask Dan and Jennifer your most pressing questions on Dating, Relationships, Love, and Sex, and take a sneak peak at what others are asking.

Subscribe to http://www.AskDanAndJennifer.com today and you'll get the latest dating, relationship, love, and sex content sent straight to your email inbox.

Copyright 2007 www.AskDanAndJennifer.com

Effective Communication is the Key to a Stable Marriage

Meredith, 30, had been married to Ralph, 32, for more than six years. She was a stay-at-home wife and he was a top business executive. Ralph's work has kept him so busy that he really thinks that he has no time to start a "family." His frequent business travels have kept him away from home several days, and even weeks at a time. Like a typical workaholic, Ralph has made same mistake committed by many career-driven husbands --- neglecting his wife. This situation has even made Meredith think that Ralph and really married to his career and not to her. Meredith and Ralph had been fighting more than ever before and it was pretty obvious that there was already a serious problem with their marriage. She accuses him of being cold and indifferent, and he accuses her of being a nagger. All their marital woes have caused them enormous stress and anxiety.

Aside from financial trouble, infidelity, and problems with the in-laws, many marriages suffer from the simple lack of communication. Like Meredith and Ralph, many couples fail to resolve their problems early on. As a result, couples grow further apart and are left to struggle with their respective anger and frustration. Instead of speaking with each other as adults, many couples resort to withdrawal or the "silent treatment." In many cases, couples have already formed the way they communicate based on how their own parents communicated with each other. A person who grew up with parents who constantly fight has the tendency to be argumentative too. A person who was raised by parents who ignored each other whenever they had problems may have the tendency to ignore his partner and his own problems in marriage.

It is said that it takes two to tango and it takes two to argue. But many marriages end up in separation or divorce precisely because the couple even evades quarrels and just chooses to ignore their problem. With mutual "silent treatment," a couple denies their own opportunity to discuss and hopefully resolve their problem. And when they do talk, the couples would often just exchange accusations and even hurl invectives at one another.

Many women complain that men are so cold, indifferent, and insensitive to their needs and to the issues that affect their relationship. They say that men spend too much time at the office and neglect their duties as husband and father. Women feel angry when men go home only to spend time in front of the t.v. or go out to have drinking sprees with their friends. Men, on the other hand, complain that women are so boisterous, jealous, and nag all the time.


So, how can men and women in marriage deal with their marital problems? The first step that couples should take is to improve the way how they communicate with each other. Shown below are some of the ways how couples can improve their communication skills in marriage:

10 Ways to Communicate Effectively

1. No name calling and don't make any threats. 2. Don't interrupt when your spouse is still speaking. 3. Don't dominate the discussion and stay on the same topic or issue at hand. 4. Listen and pay attention to what the other is saying. 5. Respect each other and be prepared to make changes in the way you think, feel, and behave. 6. Avoid mentioning or bringing up past mistakes and old resentments. 7. Don't assume too much that you know what your spouse is thinking or feeling. 8. Don't presume that you're always "right" in any argument. 9. Try to meet half-way or compromise. 10. Be honest and acknowledge the validity and importance of each other feelings.

Many couples forget that simple affirmation or small acts of love and kindness can do wonders for their marriage. A warm hug or attentively listening to your spouse can bring back a semblance of peace, love, and respect in your relationship. Indeed, one of the keys to a lasting marriage is effective communication. Given enough time and lots of patience, any couple on the rocks can revive their marriage. It just takes a lot of listening and kind words to make your marriage a real match made in heaven.


About the Author
Choose Variety of High Quality Medicines at Online Medicines Enjoyed Reading this article? More here: Pharmacy Articles

Cheater Websites: Are Websites That Promote Infidelity And Cheating Wrong?

Cheater websites have become commonplace on the Internet. Websites such as ashleymadison and meet2cheat specialize in promoting discrete affairs between married and committed people. Make sure your partner is not frequenting these sites by checking their computer history. Also, watch for escort sites such as theeroticreview or bigdoggie to find out whether your husband or boyfriend is paying for prostitutes, perhaps endangering your health. Studies which were conducted recently revealed that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship (Atwood & Schwartz,2002 - Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy).

According to a poll of over 1,900 women conducted by WomanSaversdotcom, 39% felt that alibinetwork was the sleaziest website on the net, followed by adultfriendfinder, ashleymadison and fastseduction.

There are several ways for the cheater to cheat on the Internet and there are several degrees of cheating on the Internet as well. It is imperative to mention that Internet is particularly successful in putting people in contact as it provides a way to interact with less inhibition and more caution when knowing somebody else than the real life.

The common places one finds themselves meeting on the Internet are thousands, and they are can be classified into the following categories: Chat rooms. (MSN and Yahoo are the most used); Friend networks. (Hi5 and Orkut are very popular); Direct contact through chat profiles. (Looking through the profiles of MSN members); Sites to match couples (Perfectmatch, match, etc) and Relationship sites (Passion, Adult Friend Finder, etc)

It is important to know that not everyone who chats or even meet in real life is a cheater. Internet is a great and wonderful resource and we all are responsible on how we are going to use it. Finally, there is another set of people, especially those who live in different towns, who practices cyber-sex. Cyber-sex evolves into phone sex slowly, but the chances of cheating are less probable as they need to travel to meet each other. Even more, experienced cheaters will contact people in those places where they know that will be traveling soon.

Married and committed people who utilize cheater websites want to have their cake and to eat it too. Unfortunately, this is always unbeknownst to the unsuspecting partner. Sites like Ashley Madison tap into a very profitable place within the online personals arena by bringing honesty to the dishonest practice of cheating. They allow people an alternative to a traditional personals site where they may have to lie and say they are single, thus giving potential mates the wrong impression--yet they make light of lying to a spouse or partner. Married people seem to seek other married people to give themselves a sense of added security in an inherently insecure position. Their preference to cheat within their own camp is based on assumptions about people with spouses: They will not demand too much of the other person's time; they will be less invested in the relationship since they already have one; they are more understanding about a last-minute cancellation because the wife is sick and the kids need to go to soccer practice. Ideally, all those things are true, but in the real world, there are no guarantees and having everything out in the open does not mean there won't be drama. These assumptions make all married people out to be normal and stable, and all single people end up looking like needy, unreasonable fools with no boundaries desperate to fall in love and break up a marriage.


About the Author
Online Dating and Infidelity Expert, Stephany Alexander, B.A. is CEO/Founder of http://www.WomanSavers.com, the "World's Largest Database Rating Men" and the author of "Sex, Lies and the Internet" - How to Avoid Being Scammed, Used and Abused by Men. Featured on FOX, CNN, New York Times, CNBC & more

Why You Should Develop A Relationship With Your Psychic Or Astrologewer

Any reader will tell you, any astrologist, any free psychic website, that the hardest thing to call is "timing." I'm one of the best at it, so I get asked a lot. In fact, it is also often the most pressing thing on the minds of the querant.

Here are some of the questions I got this week:

1. My husband has Alzheimer's. I am running out of money. When will it end? 2. When is he going to ask me to marry him? 3. When is he going to stop cheating on me? 4. When should we have a baby? 5. When are we going to get the funding for this private venture? 6. When is the best time to take the cruise? 7. When is the divorce going to be final? 8. He's got a tumor. When is it going to go away?

It depends on the cards and their charts, and sometimes it just is not clear. Other times, it is simply not supposed to be known. Spirit moves in ways we do not always understand.

Another reason why timing is hard to 'get' is because there is always free will. There is also Spirit, and Time is a different dimension. Sometimes what the person has asked me about has already occurred, they just don't know it. I have had that happen. I can't figure out what they're asking, because I see it as already having happened.

Think of it like this, if you've been pregnant or your wife has. You keep asking the doctor (or yourself) when is this baby coming? Well, there's a general timeframe, but. But.

Many a time someone has been given a death sentence by a physician, yet other forces intervene including their own healing actions. I have coaches several people who were given "one year to live" who are still walking on this plane after many years.

It's important to remember about the free will. There is karma, but part of getting a reading is to be able to exercise your free will. Nothing "in the future" will necessarily "come true" because of human free will -- yours, theirs, his and hers. When a person is not mindful, things they have actually caused can see like "fate."

Look at the story of "Othello," by Shakespeare. If you haven't read the play, the story is not complicated, but it is tragic. Iago set out to kill Othello, and at the end of the play Othello kills his wife and then kills himself, having already destroyed his own life, piece by piece. Was that fate? No. It is the most tragic sort of lack of mindfulness. Othello could have stopped this scenario at any time. Instead, he was a puppet in the hands of the master puppeteer - Iago.

Please don't get yourself in this position!

These are called "tragedies" in Shakespearean terms because the "hero" is done in by himself, by what used to be called a "character flaw." In other words, it is something within the person he's not aware of and therefore can't control, not an external event, like a train wreck or a bullet.

In this case, Othello was so unaware of his emotions, his temper, and his jealousy, and he was so insecure, he walked right into Iago's drama. Was this fated to happen? Well, Othello would die some time, we all cross over. In this way? There is nothing "fated" about it. Othello could have used his free will at any point and the outcome would have been different. He never even asked his wife what was going on.

Now consider that someone had been reading for Othello. By building a relationship, having numerous and fairly frequent readings, the questions might have been asked. At some point Othello might ask - did Desdemona cheat on me? That's a question I get asked a lot, and THAT is something you can "see" in the cards.

At some point he might also have asked about Iago's intentions and motivations. Should I trust this man Iago when he says these things? Maybe the devil card would come up and Spirit would reveal in that manner: this man is not to be trusted. When we readers hear more, and hear more often, it guides each reading, and each one builds on the last one. Accuracy increases with knowledge.

We can provide ideas on how to circumvent things, how to stop the train even if it's already on the track. One of the things I always look at is what an be done in order to prevent somedthing, or make it more likely to happen.

Take for instance the marriage thing. If I have done the guy's chart, I'll have a good idea what's likely to turn him off, or put him off. A Scorpio for instance, nagging will get you nowhere. They are more tempted to do the opposite to what a woman tells them to do. If you're an Aries or Leo woman, there are certain things these signs tend to do that can be off-putting in such a situation. I've read for a lot of people and analyzed a lot of charts. If the guy's chart has a lot of Taurus, Venus and Libra, he's likely to be softer and more pliable. Lets say more amenable to conversation. An Aries sun sign with Mars in Gemini and Uranus in Aries? Do ANYTHING but demand something.

To get the best out of your reading, try phrasing your "when" questions differently. Get more readings about the topic of your concern, so that you supply your reader with more information to work with. Charts help tremendously by the way.

Let's rephrase the questions above:

1. My husband has Alzheimer's. I am running out of money. What can I do? 2. What can I do to get him to ask me to marry him? What do the cards (charts) say I should NOT do? 3. Is he cheating on me? 4. We're thinking about having a baby? Can you tell from the cards when would be a good time to try? 5. Is this particular venture capitalist the one? He's a Pisces. What should my approach be? What's he worrying about? 6. Does it look September is a good time for me to go on a cruise? 7. What is hanging up this divorce? Why all the hearings? What can I do to get it moving? 8. He's got a tumor. The doctor says ... and we are doing that. What else can I, or he, do to keep him in the Light?

Frequent readings with your astrologer and psychic will result in better questions, and good answers come from good questions.


About the Author
Semiramis, Astrologer and Psychic, http://www.webstrategies.cc/PsychicSemiramis.htm, mailto:semiramis.appiamo@hotmail.com. Psychic readings by email or phone. Astrology-Saturn Return charts, birth, Spiritual Path charts. All matters-love, money, health, cheating, lost love. Semiramis reunites lovers. Conf.

Cheating Husbands - You Know The Signs!

You are intuitive. You are a woman. You "sense" that something about your relationship with your husband or partner has changed. You may be right!

Many of the physical signs of a cheating partner apply to both sexes. The renewed interest fitness and appearance, the new clothing and the change in interests. Those things are pretty universal to both men and women.

But what about the more subtle changes? The little things that went unnoticed prior to the physical signs becoming obvious?

It use to be that having an affair was strictly a "contact sport". One had to physically be in an environment where adulterous temptations presented themselves. A night out with the boys, a business trip, a late night at the office, these were all potentially dangerous situations.

Today, the Internet has opened up a whole new world of danger for struggling relationships. One no longer has to even leave the house to find trouble! With a few clicks of the mouse, a dissatisfied partner can easily initiate an online affair with anyone of the millions of available people in cyberspace "looking for love".

In the comfort of your own home, and in complete anonymity, your husband may have initiated an online relationship with someone who poses just as much of a threat as that gorgeous blonde next door!

The dangerous difference between an online affair and a "chance meeting" on a night out is that online affairs are often cultivated for months before a physical meeting takes place. There is a substantial emotional investment made through hours of cyber chat.

A husband may convince himself that he is not really cheating as long as the relationship remains in cyberspace and no physical contact is made but, that seldom happens.

In a recent survey by Melbourne's Swineburne University, it was discovered that 41 percent of all people looking for love online are living with a partner. It was relatively rare for online romances to remain in cyberspace without meeting face to face.

These are scary statistics!

So, what should you be looking for?

A change in his overall mood.

He may be happier and more outgoing.
He may be quite, more secretive and distant.
He may become more easily annoyed with the kids or disinterested in their activities.
He may "pick a fight" to get away from the family.
A change in his work habits.

He may watch far less television than usual due to an increased computer work load.
He may avoid family outings because of computer work "deadlines" for the office.
He may opt for his own personal laptop instead of the usual family computer.
Once an online affair becomes physical...


He may have to work late at the office more.
He may take more business trips.
He may not be at work when you call his office.
He may withhold more money than usual.
He may leave the room to talk when his cell phone rings.
His friends and co-workers may seem uncomfortable around you. They know!
He may "pick a fight" allowing him to storm out of the house.
And here is the "Big One" to throw you completely of his trail...


He may accuse you of having an affair! That one often tends to stop women in their tracks. I mean, who would suspect that their husband is having an affair if he is angrily questioning your fidelity right? Wrong! That is a very common "red herring". Beware!
None of these "signs of a cheating husband" are conclusive. If your husband exhibits any of these behaviors, take notice but do not jump to hasty conclusions! Many insecure women have let fear and paranoia cloud their judgement.

For you own sake, don't accuse without proof.
Always look before you leap.
Quick judgements can often lead to very bad decisions!


About the Author
Cindy English is the author and publisher of an intriguing new site:
"Our Cheating Ways"...are they an unpardonable sin or just human nature?
Join the debate at: http://www.cheatingways.com

Relationships - "Your Love Interest as Your Teammate"

There are two distinct conditions we have to look at when discussing male/female relationships. The first is a condition of "opposition" or "opponents", where the love interest is an opponent. No matter where it is at, there is no agreement on the relationship and where it is going, and one person wants to take it to a different level or place than the other, who is usually just fine the way thing are.


This automatically applies to most new relationships, and old relationships that are damaged or in trouble.


Now, why do I call it a condition of opposition or "opponents". Well, because someone is usually trying to get someone, or opposed to someone. You are trying to get the girl for a girlfriend, or you are trying to get her in bed for sex, and there is some opposition. There is not complete agreement even if it is just about timing or "when." Or she is trying to get you to marry her and you don't want to yet. You are happy being her boyfriend.


The second condition is when the love interests are "teammates." They are in agreement on their relationship and where they want it to go, etc. There is no opposition here.


This applies to most good relationships where people are co-operating and in agreement on the form of their relationship be it "friends with privileges," "girlfriend/boyfriend" or "husband/wife."


Now the truth of it is, most relationships are a combination of these conditions, perhaps mostly one or the other, but it is typical that we are in opposition about some things and in complete agreement and teammates about others.


In this essay I am going to discuss the second condition of "teammates" and the type of create one has to use in that condition in order to continue to create the relationship.


When you have a partner who is an active teammate, working for the same goal in the relationship that you are. You are in the best condition you could be in. If you don't mess it up or screw it up, your relationship should grow in the direction you want it to grow and be a healthy relationship for years and years, even a lifetime if that is desired.

Screwing up a healthy relationship, if you are lucky enough to have one, is actually hard to do, but believe me there are some guys who do it.


What are the major mistakes the guys make to screw up a healthy relationship?


Well here are five of the most common basic mistakes.


1) Cheating.

2) Not continuing to treat her as the opponent and win her over. (Otherwise known as Romance.)

3) Not continually creating a common opponent to fight as teammates.

4) Not continuing to monitor the goals and purposes of the team and make sure that they are still in unison.

5) Not making sure she continues to do all of the above too.


1) Cheating - In most cases, as soon as you cheat, you become the enemy. You are no longer working as team mates for the same thing. You have a hidden agenda and you are not working for the best interest of the team.


(I say in most cases, because there are societies and couples who agree that cheating -or extra-marital sex - is ok in certain situations, and under prescribed conditions.)


Now my opinion on cheating is simple and it is based on practicality not morality issues. You shouldn't get married or in a serious relationship until you have the ability to commit to a monogamous relationship.


There are plenty of girls who are NOT ready to commit to a serious relationship. So if you are not ready it would be better to find someone else who is not ready and work out a relationship that involves non-monogamous sex together.


The point of all this is, if you are not ready for marriage or a committed relationship, don't get involved with someone who is, and don't pretend like you are - not even to (and especially not even to) yourself. You'll turn your teammate into an enemy overnight. Get my eReport on "How I Dated 700 Women in One Year" and work whatever it is remaining in your system that keeps you from being monogamous out.


With out being moralistic, breaking an agreement to be monogamous with your girl and cheating on her doesn't get you anywhere. If sex with multiple women is what you want, you can have more sex with more women without cheating on anyone by telling the truth. Cheating in a committed relationship is a false sense of accomplishment. It means you are unhappy and insecure and a whole bunch of other negative things. So, if you feel like cheating, there is something wrong.


And as soon as you get that feeling, you need to sit down with your mate, talk things out. And if you can't resolve things so that you are back on the same team again then you are in the wrong relationship for you and you probably need to get out of that situation and date extensively until you work whatever sexual issues you have out of your system - so you can actually have a serious, monogamous relationship.


2) Now another way guys wreck a good teammate relationship and contribute to the girl cheating on them is to stop romancing the girl.


Remember this girl was at one time an opponent, someone you had to win over to your way of thinking, before she agreed to become your girlfriend or wife, etc. - That's what all the flowers and candies, and door "holding" and chick flicks and "listening" was about - you were trying to win the game and "score" the girl.


So, you did. And now you think that game (you didn't really like it did you) is over and you don't have to do that any more. Now that she is the girlfriend or wife, you don't have to play that "flowers' and "door opening" game any more. Well guess what guys! You are wrong.


All those things you did to impress her and get her, worked. These were the things that created "attraction" towards you. Now that you have secured this agreement for her to be your girlfriend or wife and enter into this new game of "teammates" it doesn't mean that the old game is over.


You see building or creating a relationship is sort of like building a house. You lay the foundation for a house then you build the first floor. When the first floor is complete you don't go and tear down the foundation. If you do, the first, second, third, etc. floors will all come tumbling down with it.


Same thing with a relationship. Whatever you did to get the girl, whatever you did to attract her in the beginning is your foundation. You can't go tearing it down the minute you get the first floor built and move in.


It simply won't work.


That means figuring out new things to do together, new ways to have fun, new sexual play so that it doesn't get boring. (Check out the Free Mini-Course on my site - "How to be a Great Lover.")


3) Now once you move from the "opponent" stage of a relationship where you are trying to WIN the girl over, you enter a stage where you are teammates mostly (but remember still keep those opponent things going to win the girl into continually being attracted to you)


In the "teammate " stage you are in agreement. You are a couple and you are approaching the world together as a team. Now, depending on your type of relationship agreement, that can be anything from just creating mutual pleasure together (like sex, or hanging out) to combining your finances and taking on the world financially together to improve your mutual lot, to deciding to take on "having kids" and raising them to the standards that you both agree on.


Now the thing is as you start working together as a team and start "winning" you can't forget that the process or working together as a team is more important than the things you obtain as a team. Teamwork is like "glue" that holds you together.


Sometimes when a couple achieves some of the goals that are the objects of their teamwork, they forget to replace those goals with new ones. Sooner or later if you don't replace old goals with new ones you run out of things to work together on.


So often a couple gets engaged, gets married, has children, gets a nice house, gets a nice car and then stop setting goals and their teamwork disappears.


Sometimes it doesn't even go that far. Sometimes they both have a simple goal like moving in together. They do that and then stop creating team projects. Like the things that you did to attract her, working together to achieve goals and solve problems is the expanded foundation of a relationship. As long as you keep doing it and set new goals to accomplish you will continue to create a healthy satisfying relationship.


Goals don't always have to be mutual goals. Sometimes a couple helps each other on personal goals. They work together as a team to get her to lose 10 pounds. They work together as a team to get him a better job.


Doing that CREATES the relationship in a healthy manner. Telling your girl you'd better lose 10 pounds or I am out of here doesn't. Telling the guy he'd better get a better job or you are gone doesn't create a relationship either. These kinds of attitudes make you "enemies" or "opponents" again.


Mutual goals are common "opponents" and make you teammates fighting against your obstacles to achieving your goals.


I can go on and on and on , on this topic, but I think you get the point. CONTINUALLY setting goals and working on those goals as a team helps to CREATE a relationship. STOP doing this and the relationship will star falling apart.


4) Now to continually monitor these goals you set as a team, this means communication. You have to talk to your partner and continually monitor where they are at with respect to your mutual and their and your personal goals. People change and grow. You can't assume the girl your married 3 years ago is the same girl today. You can't assume the things that she considered important and wanted to work on with you 3 years ago, 1 year ago, even 6 months ago are still the goals she has today.


Communicate! Talk! Listen! You have to continually find out where you are at. If you keep communication in then you wont' have any surprise. If you assume she is the same (when she isn't) then you will be surprised one day when you exclaim "I don't know who you are anymore" as she walks out the door or cheats on you.


5) Finally, you have to get your girl to do all of these things too. One person creating a relationship is better than none, but two people creating a relationship is a cinch for success.


Best time to talk about all this is early on in your relationship so you are both on the same page with create from the early days. But anytime is better than no time. It is never too late. Even if you aren't "newly weds" talk now!


If you do all the above things, you and your partner just may have a chance to create a continually growing, healthy relationship.


About the Author
Mr L.Rx gives advice to men on how to meet, date, and relate to women. He is also available for private consultation and coaching. Additional information on this topic is at http://www.DatingToRelating.com

Why second marriages are more likely to fail: The challenges of blending families

Are you ready for the understatement of the year? Here it is: Kids will make your second marriage a complicated and challenging experience. The reason is clear: In most circumstances, children do not want their parents to divorce. Therefore, the idea of you meeting someone new and finding happiness is not a priority in the appropriately egocentric world of your child. So your children's view of your new marriage will necessarily be very different from your own.

Children are angry about the loss of their old family and anxious about the creation of a new one. Some children are quite good at hiding these feelings, while others will make their anger known every step of the way. Even if your children genuinely like your new spouse, you should remember that your son or daughter already has two parents. For many kids, the more they like their new step-parent, the more traitorous they feel toward the biological parent they perceive as being "left behind." Struggles with divided loyalties can lead children to disrupt arrangements between you and your new mate.

Say goodbye to the honeymoon:

Second marriages that include children from a previous relationship start in overdrive. First marriages begin in the bliss of the honeymoon phase of the relationship--just the two of you, getting to know each other within your romantic cocoon. In second marriages that include children, the honeymoon phase is replaced by an adjustment phase. There is little time to bask in the glow of each other's love when your son is protesting that his new stepsister has the bigger room. Bert, an accountant in Providence, captured this adjustment period aptly: "It felt impossible for me and Judy to feel good about anything. My son locked himself in his room and Judy's daughter moped around the house, scowling at everyone. We felt like we ruined two lives."

Say hello to the adjustment phase:

During the adjustment phase of your second marriage, the following issues need to be addressed on an ongoing basis:

Different parenting styles. Couples often experience significant conflict when they do not agree on how to parent each other's children. It is imperative that you communicate with your partner about parental expectations and develop consistent rules for all the children. If you are inconsistent, the children will see this as a weakness and manipulate these parenting differences to their benefit. If you and your partner vehemently disagree about a particular parenting issue, consult with a child psychologist to get a more objective opinion.

The attention balancing act. Your second spouse wants your attention, your children want your attention, you want your spouse's attention, your spouse's children want your spouse's attention. There is a finite pool of attention to go around, so it is likely that someone is going to feel neglected at one time or another.

It is important that your children receive the time and attention they need. This will differ depending on their age and how well they are adjusting to the new living arrangements. It is also important that you and your partner set appropriate limits with the children and carve out time for your marriage. It is essential to the health of your relationship that you and your partner develop routines and activities that allow you each to nurture the marriage.

Acknowledge your own feelings of jealousy and resentment. It is normal for you to feel jealous of your spouse's relationship with his/her children--this is difficult to admit, but it's more common than you might think. You've remarried and feel lucky to have found love for a second (or third, or fourth...) time. You want your spouse all to yourself. It can feel like it's the children who stand in the way of the exclusivity that you desire. Rather than deny these feelings and feel silently resentful, understand them as natural, discuss them with your partner and they will lose their grip on you.

It ain't the Brady Bunch. The Brady Bunch made remarrying with children look easy. By the second episode all the kids were chummy and there was a quick (and unrealistic) acceptance of their step-parents. Sure, if all the kids get along this makes for instant family harmony. But this isn't a realistic expectation. Don't all full (non-Brady) siblings argue anyway? Don't force the relationship between your children and their new stepsiblings. Your children must accept the loss of their old family before they can accept their new one. This may take a long time, but it is well worth the patience and understanding you'll need to demonstrate to help your kids get there.

Don't forget to nurture your marriage. Children in blended families are often given a great deal of power by parents. This is due to parents feeling guilty about disrupting the lives of their children. In order to placate your guilt you may over-compensate by giving your son or daughter too much latitude and abandon the previous parent-child boundaries that were the rule in the past.

Without clear boundaries, children will continuously intrude into the private matters of your marriage. After all, they've already lost the only family they've known and may want to hold onto you for dear life. One way they might try to accomplish this will be to wedge themselves between you and your new spouse. Children should always feel loved by you, but they also need to learn that you will require time with your new spouse, a person you also love, albeit in a different way. The clearer the boundaries, the faster the children will settle into these new arrangements.

Blended families can work, but not without large doses of information, support, and patience. If you and your spouse work as a team (and feel like a team), you will be able to navigate the complexities that are involved in blending families.

Is your relationship worth protecting? Are you ready to make your marriage everything it can be?

Find out how to create the relationship of your dreams: Sign up for the free Relationship Toolbox Newsletter at http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ and immediately receive two FREE reports that will help you achieve your relationship potential.


About the Author
Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. is a psychologist and relationship coach who is passionate about helping couples protect the sanctuary of their relationship.

Why Anger Rises In The Family (And How To Let It Go)

The family is the most common place for anger to erupt. It is also the place where the seeds of anger are sowed. When we live closely with others, when we are bonded to them, attached, dependent or vulnerable these individuals have the power to affect us deeply. In these relationships our expectations and demands greater.

Images Of The Family

We have strong images of how parents, siblings or children "should" behave. We feel we have the right to demand love and attention from those in the family. Parents have strong feelings that they have the right to loyalty and obedience, just because of their roles, (no matter how they treat their children). Children often feel the same. There is a common craving for a "happy family", where everyone loves and cares for each other, and where everyone accepts all of each other's difficulties. Unfortunately, this craving is often unfulfilled. For the most part the myth of a happy family is often a dream.

Families are often hotbeds of misunderstandings, resentment, sibling rivalry, jealousy, inappropriate expectations and demands and lack of acceptance. In fact, families are really fine places to work through a great deal of issues and learn how to individuate, grow, love and accept both others and ourselves.

Although many of us blame our parents for all that has gone wrong, the fact is that the parent is not the real culprit. It is the smoldering anger that is being held onto that causes the pain. It is the inability to get over disappointment about not having the parent of our dreams. This anger and disappointment can prevent us from growing up and establishing the life that best expresses our values and vision today.

Identity And The Family

A major factor that contributes to anger in families is the tendency each member has to identify with the other. Parents feel that children are a reflection of them. Parents also project their worst fears about themselves onto their children, or want their children to make up for errors and disappointments in their own lives. This is a huge mistake, which leads to a great deal of pain. It is interesting to notice how little room there is for differences in most families. Most think that a perfect family is one in which everyone is the same.

Individuation - (Becoming Who You Are)

The most vital process that goes on in the family is the process of individuation. This means that as a child grows they are given the opportunity to discover who they are, to be separate and different from those they love. Some experience differences between themselves and family members as separation, or even rejection. They do not realize that unless family members become who they are, they will not be able to grow and love. Instead, anger develops, deep resentment and pain. The greatest longing most family members have is being known, heard and accepted for who they are. Ultimately, this is experienced as love.

Unfulfilled Needs In The Family

After a certain point of maturity family members enter the larger world and become part of other groups. These new groups are often experienced as new families. Needless to say these individuals automatically and unconsciously begin to repeat the same patterns they experienced in the family they came from. If there were many unfulfilled needs in their original family, they try to get these filled now.

If there were many demands made upon them, they expect that to be true once again and begin resisting demands made upon them in their new groups. (Or, they may turn it around and make those demands upon others now).When they enter a romantic relationship, often it becomes a repeat of the relationship they saw between their parents, or a relationship in opposition to it. One way or the other, the original family remains the main reference point.

Conflicts, demands, unfulfilled needs must fundamentally be traced back to its origin in the family and resolved there. Sooner or later we must make peace with our family, as it was and as it wasn't. Then we become able to create something healing and new.

Families Of Choice

When we have come to peace with our family, we are then able to "choose" those individuals and relationships, which we value and want in our lives. Although we cannot choose our original family, we can choose friends in our lives and choose to create a significant relationship that reflects who we are and what we've always wanted. We can create a new family now that fulfills our dreams and desires. This does not mean rejecting our original family, but learning from it, still giving to it, but, at the same time, going forward to create our lives as we wish them to be.


About the Author
Watch stress and sickness melt away on The Anger Diet, award winning book by top psychologist http://www.theangerdiet.com. Dr Shoshanna, speaker, relationship expert, has helped thousands. Free ezine and articles,www.brendashoshanna.com, topspeaker@yahoo.com. Counseling, workshops available.